she said, is anybody out there?

sooooo... like, one down, five to go.
exams that is. it doesn't really have a very awesome ring to it. i really don't like to think about it. its taking over my entire life. hello, i went to the library today, and its SATURDAY. on saturday we rest. or work to earn money. we do NOT study, though apparently i do now. the world is spinning funny and mercury is hurting me. mercury is in retrograde, and i'm telling everyone, because obviously its ruining my life. except i think people are mostly just laughing behind my back, like not only does she read horoscopes, she talks about mercury and the angle between the stars and the sun. actually most people just think i'm talking about the metal. and like i don't know, biting on old fashion thermometers and ingesting some pretty silver liquid? they probably think that's why i'm insane. wow. tangennttt.

so... like i've become super boring obviously. i mean i normally am not particularly sociable voluntarily and do not go out a lot but you know its more depresssing. so how was your day? oh you know, awesome! i went to the library, yeahhh. on my birthday. so super exciting. you missed out on the party aw, are you getting up to anything tonight? yeah, gonna go home and studyyy. oh yeahh. what's on this weekend? mmm. let me think about that one. i'm gonna... study. though i suppose at least i'm leaving the house. i think i would go more batshit crazy than i already am if i just didnt' leave the house all these weeks. even if i'm just leaving to go to the library. and the only people i see / talk to in the flesh are the people who make my coffee. oh yeah! really?!

howevs, the library is NOT all fun and games, as awesome as i make it sound. for one, i went to not my usual library today, and spent a good 20 minutes walking around trying to find somehwere to sit down, making my life 349038234 times easier, you're not allowed to have bags in there. and well i have a lot of stuff. just a lot of stuff. books and various cases holding pens and other various junk, clothing, food hidden in folders (obvs can't have food in there either). and it gets tiring. i actually worked up a sweat and had to remove several layers of clothing. in the end no space was found and we bailed for another library. and the moral to that story is, trust your instincts, the library you believe is evil, really is.

the library that you love most of the time, except for the fact that one of the rooms is freezing and you have to go into that room when the room you really like is closed, which is sometimes often. and hello run on sentences. hoorah! lets have a party (at the library). oh right, where was i going with that? yeah, that library? sometimes it sucks too. likeeeee when old men hit on you. and you're by yourself (okay yeah, that's 95% of the time), and hungry and tired and you haven't had any coffee.

so here's the fun story. thisssss is mostly modified from something i sent sylvie. because 1) she is super special and gets the news first. also everyone else probs already knows, because i whine alot. and 2) i am lazy. laaazzeeeh. that's all.

so i'd been 'studying' for a solid HOUR (probably less. felt like longer) when i decided that omg, a whole hour is a really REALLY long time, and i should go buy that chocolate. also, it was COLD! in the reatarded room, so you know, chocolate (chilli!) was even more important, because like, it would make me warmer? YES. i did tell myself that. i am quite into being in denial. so i left all my shit, and went to coles to buy chocolate, came back and was like EMAIL CHECKING TIME. anyway, so i got myself a computer, and logged on, you know, email, facebook and muso so i can pretend that i'm studying. THEN THIS CRAZY MAN COMES OVER, NEAR ME i can only assume that he was looking at the books on the shelves behind me, and was like "you type really fast".

this isn't really that strange, since i kinda do. and other people have commented on the fact, BUT HE'S A STRANGER. and i'm already freaked out. because i like to hope that my vibe is something a little like fuck off and leave me alone. you know, what with the whole people hating thing. exceptfor i'm pretty sure that doesn't work because i look like i'm about 12, and they're not allowed to say fuck off.

but THEN he stays and WATCHES ME? LIKE WTF. WHAT THE FUCK. so i had to just look at muso, as opposed to my email and facebook. and so likeeeeeee. he rambled on something about having a day off? and having an appointment? though what time i have no idea. cos i was mostly smiling and nodding and what the freaking the fuck out. and he said some crap about liking to come to the library to get a book (yes, that's what people do at libraries apparently) and something and i was like, yes. its um. a nice place. to relax? except so not, because obviously i go there to study, and that makes me cry. and then he is all what are you studying? and i'm like, uh pharmacy and he said. and i cannot believe he said this, and i didn't realise how DIRTY it was until afterwards when i cried a little on the inside and then wanted to throw up.

he said, YOU'LL HAVE TO GIVE ME A CHECK UP THEN. and i was like (EEEEK. OMG WTF) um, uh... i don't know about that ha. ha. ha. (FUUUUUUUUUUCK.) and so eventually he goes away, and i feel awkward and violated. BTW HE IS FUCKING OLD. LIKE FORTIES? late forties? I AM BAD AT JUDGING AGE. but whatever, old! not ancient, but old!

AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN HE COMES BACK AND LIKE TAPS ME ON THE SHOULDER AND IS LIKE "if you need a break from studying maybe we could get coffee" OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES. i am unsure about the end bit, because I WAS FREAKING OUT. but the start is right. and there was something about coffeeeee. AND I WAS V. V. SCARED. and so i said something like. ohh, no sorry, i'm just getting started, so i better get into it. OR SOMETHING. I DON'T KNOW I WAS SO FREAKED OUT. SO VERY FREAKED OUT.

and it was like quite early in the day, so you know, basically ruined my life. i was really honestly quite terrified, and nearly fled to jungle. but like, all my stuff was in the retarded room, and i keep hearing horror stories about how theives are targetting students blah blah, with incident of thefts increasing around libraries etc. so i am too scared to leave my stuff for TOO long. since i'd already left it long enough to buy chocolate and have my life/day ruined. AND I WENT BACK AND HE WAS SITTING IN THE FREAKING ROOM ALSO. luckily i hope he felt awkward and so left quite soon after.

so. wrongtown.

in conclusion, libraries/uni sucks. whooohooooo.

there was a chance you'd surprise me

- i have paid off nearly all of my uni fees for this semester (i'm paying the last bit tomorrow - this is borrowed money, but i'm becoming more okay with this) ALL ON MY OWN, this makes me ver happy. very happy and very poor. the government is raping me.

- i no longer am as scared of working during the day as i used to be, this may be because my boss doesn't suck. am also slightly afraid of DYING when i work at night,which is always.

- i am writing this because i am embarrassed by the length of the last entry, and i don't want it to be at the top anymore.

- i am surprisingly good at squishing things to make room, i played a lot of tetris, it came in handy.

- i dislike statistics

- i figured out yesterday WHY i was taught statistics in first year.

- its apparently more useful than i thought it would be, because you need to know how it works in order to understand any journal articles.

- too bad i don't remember anything.

i like ice cream, lychee and lime kind
i don't like that i can't find it anywhere.
i want dumplings and coffee,
but not togther probs.
i don't like the weather, its fucking insane. no, its schitzophrenic, that's what it is.
i don't like uni, but i don't like not uni either.
i cant win.
i just got nail polish on my left index finger andi suspect also on the 'space' key.
once i knocked some nail polish off a shelf at a department store and it shattered, i have nail polish on the jeans i wore, and also on my chucks. luckily everything matches.
i worked last night, DREAMT ABOUT WORK, and then worked first thing in the morning. it was like 24 hours of continuous work.
i like the words 'sphenoid' and 'furuncle.
i think this is the end.