dot the i

rant ranty rant.
I'm really fricken annoyed.
Someone from work called a few hours ago, asking me if I could do their shift tomorrow.
I said yes.
Then proceeded to rearrange my shit so I could work for them.
I come home from doing some of the things I had to do so I could work, freaked out that my uniform was gross, washed it. And went upstairs to get ready to go out. Checking my phone to see if my lift was ever going to arrive (I'm still waiting, Carla, I love you) I get a message from aforementioned co-worker. Hey don't worry about doing the shift tomorrow, thanks anyway sorry. have a good weekend
While that's a really nice message (She's good at masking the bitchiness, she does it often) I'm still really annoyed. I've already gone out of my way, so I could do their shift for them. You might be sorry, but I can't undo it now. I could already be where I wanna be tonight, I coulda been a hell lot more relaxed. I could be singstaring right now, and being generally awesome with my beautiful girls. And she's done it by message, what if I didn't get it? Someone suggested just turning up to the shift. But she's scary, so she'd probably end up doing it and I'd end up with more time wasted.

I need to figure out how to make her feel guilty. Preferably keep the shift, so my efforts aren't wasted. Without being too obvious a bitch. How how how? I'm not good with subtlety. I'm not good with these kinda things. I hate work politics, I hate getting involved. It makes me want to crawl back to the drama free real estate job that makes me suicidal. I managed to lose $50 rent money there last week, and it's still ALL. GOOD. (sure, they're my parents, and are obliged to love me anyway, but that's not the point).

Now I'm freaking out. What if she reads this? Not that anyone reads this blog, because I don't think I really told anyone of it's existence. I'm still getting used to blogging again. But that's not the point either. It's out there, it might happen. I've blogged for like, 6 years possibly longer, basically like my whole life and some (i'm five. really.) And i don't remember freaking about things like this before. Sure I never worked much before. My declining blogging kinda coincided with my getting a job. Who knows why. But didn't I complain about I don't know. People at school? It was high school, there was always drama right? It was an all girls competitive selective school. If there wasn't drama, I'm sure we would've made some. How come I was never this worried? And I actually had readers then.

So how do I do it, so that it's not misinterpreted, but so that I also get what's fair?

Carla, where are you? I know you don't read this, but it's singstar time baby.

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UPDATE:
I am home now. Singstar is amazing, as are my friends. and cheese. and Soho. Just pointing out that i normally can't type. this will be worse. I will be too lazy to fix anything, i promise. i WIN at procrastinating life.

So I didn't message her, because I am chicken shit. But I called another girl (to bitch, whoops), she wasn't home. But she messaged me and was like, oh was it about the first girl? Cos she called me and asked me to work first, but i said I had to confirm blah blah, and in that time she asked you to work, and then I got back to her, so she had to tell you not to work.

This whole thing is lame and frustrating. Every single part of it. Like why couldn't she have said that in the first place? Then I wouldn't be so invested in working (hahaaha. who has their heart set on working? don't most people rejoice at not working 13 days straight. Not me apparently). If she had said I've asked someone else to work. They said they might be able to, but need to get back to me can you do it if they can't? How hard is that? Most of the time, even if it's really DIFFICULT for me to organise, I'll work anyway if no one else can do it. I'll tell them to try and get someone else, but if they're desperate, I'll do it. It's not that hard.

Its just that I need to find some buried treasure by the end of March to pay for uni. And apparently, the odds of that happening aren't so awesome, or so everyone else keeps telling me. I guess that means, the only other way of money appearing is if I work. i kinda need the shift that pays double time. Man, i should've whored myself out to some soul sucking retail WELL PAYING job at the start of these holidays. Too late for that now.

I did try messaging the second girl. In the hopes that she would be like, oh, i'm so sorry, you can do the shift if you want but apparently no one does what I want them to these days. I'm sitting here at 3am, wishing that I had to get up to start work at 9, who. does. that?! ramble ramble ramble, rant rant rant. Ah, my life is getting pathetic. I'm gonna go collapse into bed. hoorah!