t w e n t y t h r e e

We're on the bus to Phan Thiet at the moment. We've been driving since 7:30, apparently it's 11:30 now. I don't know how much longer there is to go. My sister's playing her DS, and losing. And there are alot of dragon fruit trees going on outside my window. Also, I've noticed that every cow i see has this white bird near it. Like, they're just hanging out together. the white bird just sorta stands obediently by its side. I have no idea why this is.

Some road rules:

- People wear helmets now! its amazing. these helmets don't look particularly safe or anything. and they're hardly ever buckled up, but they exist now. Apparently they have for a year now. the birthday of the helmet passed recently. Though, I'm told that you only have to wear a helmet if you're riding a motorcycle, not if you're riding a bike. wtf?

random. what happened to the 'sun'?

- Sometimes, the green man means you're semi safe to go. I still nearly get run over alot, because apparently, or so I'm told, bikes/motorcycles don't have to listen to the traffic lights. Apparently you get less traffic jams this way. I am thinking this is entirely untrue. But highly annoying, because it means I have a less valid reason to fume and yell 'rude!'.

- I've mentioned this, but everyone drives on the wrong side of the road. My sister observed that we've been driving in the left hand lane for approximately 2 hours. They drive on the right here btw. The other night, we were stuck in traffic, and I was already late - the taxi driver cut across the left hand lane of oncoming traffic and drove on the sidewalk. I kid you not. I was terrified. We tipped him well.

this christmas tree was made of beer bottles. that's my kinda christmas spirit.

- Right now there's a kid half hanging out the door/window of the bus in front of us. We're driving on a freeway or whatevs.

I'm hungry. Are we there yet?

sixteen, seventeen

My sister's really sick. Spent most of last night/yesterday sitting up with her and mum trying to cool her down. She says things like 'its so hot turn off the heater please'. I'm pretty sure there isn't a single heater in this entire country. She's sleeping now.

Went to visit my dad's parents yesterday. We were meant to stay the night but my sister got sick, and they're kinda far from the hospital etc. so we went back home. Just in case.

I've noticed there's a disproportionately large number of stores specialising in maternity wear here. Is everyone preggers? I never noticed. Its just that, well my eye sight isn't all that great, and I often look across the street to see something that looks kinda cute, only to realise upon closer inspection that it's actually a maternity dress. I'm hoping this reflects the weird number of stores, and not my taste in clothing.

---

I think everyone is sick of being here already. I really wish I could be like," omg guys, having so much fun. Best time of my life! Don't have time to blog. Bye!" But we're all kinda bored. My dad's only been here for 2 days and even he doesn't know what to do with himself. Mum is like: "This time it isn't fun. I want to go back. I don't think we'll be going to Vietnam again for awhile." And then she formulated an escape plan which involved running away to a hotel in the city, where we are now but check-out time is in half an hour. My sister's gone back to sleep. Its like a vacation from our vacation.

Its not that this is a bad place to be on vacation, but we don't get to leave home all that much. Have I mentioned there's a lot of eating/sleeping/eating/eating/sleeping in this country? Probably. That's probs why I've blogged more than ever, despite having not that much to blog about. I'm also only doing the annoyed day whatevs blog titles because I need some way to keep track of how many days have passed. Seriously, I've lost all track of space and time here. I don't know what day of the week it is. But lets be honest, even with this, I have no idea.

I feel like we have alot of things to do at home, and nothing to do here. I feel as if we could be doing alot of more productive things, such as: find a cure for cancer, clean my room, write some lists and repaint my nails. Also, I still wouldn't mind actually working. Is it wrong that I want to work, and in retail no less at christmas time? I think my parents' workaholic tendancies are rubbing off on me. I think this is also why they are bored, they need stuff to do. When my mum brought up the boredom with her sister, my aunt said "This is a holiday, you're supposed to do nothing. That's why they call it a holiday." Erm, is this what you all do on holiday? I don't get it. Can I do nothing on the beach please?

For Christmas we're going to run away to Phan Thiet with my mum's friend's family. We've done this before, like awhile ago. From what I remember I liked it. But I don't actually remember it at all. Then we're going to Nha Trang. I haven't been there since like, 1996 but apparently its super touristy now.

Okay, its time to go. The phone's ringing and I'm pretty sure its the hotel staff telling us to get the hell out.

day whatevs til now. o7 - 14?

Its raining here now. The weather's weird, and so, everyone is sick. I was miserable and whine-y for a day or so, but I'm starting to feel okay now. I hope. I tell myself I'm not sick at all. Because of this we haven't really been anywhere/done anything. Today I went to the supermarket, seriously, that was probably the highlight.

My dad gets here tonight, so I suppose that means we've gotta go visit his family. Which, just between me and you, I'm dreading a little bit.

Everyone is siesta-ing. Its highly annoying since things close, but I subscribe to it erratically, since I have nothing else to do. Its weird though - I feel as if this constant eat/sleep/eat thing they've got going on would make you fat. But everyone here is teeny tiny. I often get told when asking for a larger size that whatever it is - is a one-size-fits-all. But apparently not me. The only thing I've supposedly got going for me is that i'm white/pale, which the pushy shop assistants claim looks good with whatever colour I'm trying on. They're very anti-tan here, they have whitening creams! Oh and I'm 'tall'. Whatevs.

Speaking of the buying, I went that market I fainted at last time, and bought some $8 work shoes that will probably fall apart in 1-3 months, 6 dresses for well under $100 and a $2.50 bra. I have to go pick up one of the dresses today because as previously mentioned I don't fit into anything here, and had to get a zip put in, but they alter shit for free, so hurrah! Oh, and I caved and bought mascara (i forgot to bring one, even though i have about 75) at the supermarket today. How annoyingly girly.

Also, I'm still being molestered by mosquitos, still. I've gotten 3 mosquito bites writing this post. Insect repellant doesn't seem to work. Or maybe it does work - I'm too scared not to use it, just in case. Can I get malaria here? I probably should've looked into that. Should I still be afraid of bird flu? I don't know. I just won't hug any chickens, yeah?

Dip. Dip. There's a party on the hill, would you like to come?

So I was just complaining to myself about how I've run out of stuff to write about, and Crystal has come along and solved my problem/made my life more difficult by tagging me to write about my unspectacular quirks.

The Rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs letting them know they've been tagged.

I feel like there should be another rule since everything about this is done in sixes. I'm almost compelled to make one up.

o1. I eat fruit with salt.
You probably won't find me adding salt to my dinner at the table, however I do eat it with fruit. Weird, no? I get a lot of looks when I ask for salt just as the random free fruit platter comes out at the restaurant. I used to think it was an asian thing, since they're quite into their sweet/savoury pairings, but even they give me strange looks, so really I think I just picked it up from my mum. Its not all fruit. Salt with any berry is weird, bananas are out of the question, but apples, oranges, jackfruit etc its all fair game. And its a must with watermelon, seriously. Don't diss it, you have to let it settle/soak in for a second, but then it makes everything taste sweeter. I swear! I don't feel like I've ever converted anyone on this.

o2. I leave home unnecessarily early for uni.
I'm talking like, an hour and a half unnecessarily early. Just so I have alot of time to sit down for coffee, read my horoscope, whine and pretend to study. Ironically, despite getting to the CBD at least an hour before class starts, I'm usually late for said class(es) because I get distracted trying to con someone into giving me chocolate or marshmallows, instead of decorating cupcakes with them. Or am too busy complaining about how much I hate Johnathan Cainer. Either way, it takes me about 30 minutes of saying "I really should leave now/should probably have left 10 minutes ago/my class starts in 5 minutes I should go/I think I'm already late for class" before I'm actually on a tram.

o3. I'm fairly anti-aircon.
Its just really artificially cold and makes me feel abit sick. My relatives here are really confused by this. They're all like, "But you come from a cold country! How do you stand the cold there?" Winter cold is a completely different type of cold. My uni likes to make my life more difficult by being overly enthusiastic with the heating/cooling systems. Its like they like to waste money. If its anywhere in the vicinity of 'warm' they'll blast the aircon, howevs if its 'cool' they'll turn the heater up so high you can barely breathe. As a result I wear alot of layers, carry a jacket all the time, and wear scarves that double as shawls/blankets. Also, the thing to change the temperature settings resides on the roof. Makes sense, no? As a result, I don't think just anyone is qualified to change it. They probably need to hire some guy to do it. But don't, which is why its constantly ridiculous.

o4. I'm really picky about stationary.
Last year I rediscovered my love for Bic Classic finepoint pens. I sort of maybe refuse to use anything else. I buy these by the box. Before that I liked these pharmaceutical company pens - you know the ones that drug reps give to doctors etc? So, I might be drowning in them at work, but um..., I like these ones made by this Vietnamese drug company. Way to like things that aren't difficult to obtain, at all. Also, I can't study without highlighters. To be even more annoying I have this colour coordination thing going on. Purple is a really bad highlighter colour since its too dark - so I use it like a texta for big umbrella headings. Pink for headings, Orange for subheadings, Yellow for in text highlighting, Green for examples, Blue for definitions, Purple again for equations. So that was to much information, but now you know. I feel like no one understands me on this - but at least my notes look pretty.

o5. 80% of the time I have block of Lindt chocolate stashed in my bag.
Its always some variety of dark chocolate, and we all know that has antioxidants so it CAN'T be bad for me right? At some point i probably went through 3 blocks a week. That's weekdays. Despite this chocolate obsession, I weirdly never eat chocolate at home, I think it has something to do with the fact that I didn't like chocolate as a kid. Boy am I making up for it now. So on the holidays the chocolate goes untouched. My waist seems to feel indifferently about this. Mint is my favourite. I like the chilli chocolate as well. The new pear flavour confused me completely. And I usually don't like orange chocolate but Green and Black's Maya Gold chocolate is pretty amazing. That's what's in my bag the other 20% of the time. I still hate Lindt cherry chocolate, no matter what you say.

o6. I don't wear pants.
Actually, a pushy sales assistant forced me to try on some pants that matched the jacket i tried on the other day. But besides that, it's been awhile. I don't really know why. It was an unconscious decision. I think I discovered stockings and learnt that my legs weren't colder. Sort of like when you realise getting your ears pierced doesn't hurt that much, so then you want more. Obviously I couldn't think of anything else to write about.

Um, so pretty sure I don't actually know 6 bloggers that haven't already been tagged for this. So I'm only going to tag 3. Plus, Crystal did it too, so there! I'm tagging: my beautiful year 12 buddy Vi, my lover - that girl, & last but not least, haivee.

o5 and o6

Yesterday we went to Vung Tau, to visit my aunt who lives there. She's the one that surprise visited us the other day. She's a nun and lives there with y'know, the other nuns. They run like a hotel, and use the money to teach the poor/orphaned kids and help the elderly there who have no one to look after them. They're also completely adorable.

We had lunch there, and then we hung out at the beach (i think most people slept), and everyone was too lazy to go exploring. Losers.


The nuns also make candied fruit etc to sell. They have alot of fruit trees, which they used to use, but um, there was a massive storm/hurricaine in 2007, and the trees have never fully recovered. Anyway, they were so cute! I think its rude to call them 'cute' but they so were! They kept feeding me the candied fruit, like "They don't have this over there, does she know how to eat it? Try it!" and then when i could they kept GIVING me all this stuff to take home. I felt like i was robbing them. They also showed me all the stuff they were doing, one brought out all these little bags she was making for the kids for chirstmas/new years. Like these bags were made out of material scraps, like no bigger than a few ribbons that she joins together to make the bags. She was like its such a waste to throw away the materials, so i make things for the kids. Do you like them? You can have one, go on choose.

this is the place next door, that hasn't yet been fixed up, obvs.

Also, I saw approx 2 turned-over trucks on the way there. It was only a 3 hour drive, and I was asleep for probs an hour or so.

---

Today I bought alot of stuff. I'm trying to buy myself a hot corporate wardrobe for when i become hot and corporate - as in never, because pharmacists don't dress cool. I really should've thought that career choice through a bit more. The pharmacist jacket doesn't sit very well. I wonder if I could get one tailored? yeah? No seriously, I bought about 8 shirts (they were cheap! like $8.50) and a jacket for like $15, and a dress for the same amount. That's like, a lot of stuff. In my defence, I'm sharing all of the shirts except 1 with my mum. I still haven't bought shoes. Am working on it.
Then we went to Saigon again to shop, etc. My sister got some clothes. I got confused by Christmas, again; and by how anyone here can afford anything.


Other places we were touristy:
- Gloria Jeans
- Louis Vuitton, Burberry, Gucci (again); anyone notice a theme here? But more importantly, look at cinderella and prince whatever! charming? I'm trying to curtsy, like a disney princess, but i have no skirt. Also, the doorman was dressed like prince charming!
- Saigon Centre
- Diamond Plaza

Mosquito Bites: 11, i think.


Also, of importance. We crossed the road by ourselves today (my mum and I)! For some reason I think she was more scared than I was. I don't know why. And so I present to you,

Marlene's Guide to Crossing the Road in Vietnam:
Since road rules and lanes appear to be of no significance here, you should probably be scared. But fear is healthy. If its your first time, do it with someone from Vietnam. Hold their hand, close your eyes and shuffle slowly across. I'm not joking.

If you're going this alone, its probably best that you open your eyes, howevs, it will be scary looking. No one here believes in giving way. Pedestrian crossings mean nothing here, ps. Don't mistakenly step onto one expecting cars to stop for you, they won't. You'll die. Same goes for the green man, He exists now! I was so shocked when i saw one i had to take a photo.

So crossing the road is easy! You just have to kinda like feeling slightly suicidal. What you do is, even if there are cars/motorcycles/bikes (and trust me on this, or you'll be waiting forever) step out onto the road. Its perfectly normal to wince/be a bit jumpy. And basically you walk slowly across, waiting for the traffic to swerve to avoid you. This isn't too dangerous, since they drive a speedy 15-25km/h around here. Some people are bastards though, and don't avoid you. I suggest you glare at them alot. As I said though, road rules mean nothing, so look both ways, even if you're on a one way street.

day o3 & o4

last night my grandfather showed me a totally ancient radio and alarm clock. they used to be my mum's like, 30 years ago. then he whipped out some certificates (awards and the like) of hers when she was in high school. they're so old! people have nice writing.

the radio still works apparently, my uncle just bought some batteries for it, and its making staticy sounds! i'm amazed, even by that. they were telling me that after my mum and my aunt left Vietnam, news was hard to come by, so they'd secretly listen to the BBC at night on that radio, to hear, i suppose if they survived or not. i can't believe they weren't allowed to listen to the radio! well international radio. sometimes i forget about the communists. who're now probably gonna delete my blog or something right? good, cos like i don't know how this whole striving to blog more thing is going. omg! words! real words on the radio. i have to go stare at how old it is, and be amazed some more. bye!

---

this is a "mai" flower, it usually flowers around chinese new year time (late jan/early feb) but for some reason at least one plant at my grandfather's house flower suspiciously early/late whenever i visit. they joke its just for me (my vietnamese name is mai linh).

so that was yesterday, that was probably the highlight of my day. we had people over, so we didn't go anywhere and ate alot. i had/have no idea who they were. i just smiled alot and people seemed pleased that i could respond when they asked me if i understood vietnamese.

we also haven't really done much today either... apparently we're going out to dinner tonight or something. i spent most of the day playing yoshi touch and go on my sister's DS.

i also cracked the shits when my mum insisted on buying me a dress. we went to some shop like down the street, and i tried on a few things. they were nice enough, but i'm a bit scared. everything here is very flash. i couldn't buy work shoes because plain black shoes without a heel don't seem to exist. its gotta either have bows or flowers or sparkly bits. the clothing is kidna the same. its all frills and lace and BOWS and awkward bits that are comnpletely unnecessary. but you know, after awhile, you think maybe this isn't so bad. but only because the certain thing you're looking at happens to have slightly less bows/dots/sticky outty bits/glitter/sequins IN COMPARISON to everything else around. So uh, i'm probably gonna end up buying lots of things i won't actually ever wear when i look at it in comparison to my normal clothing.

So we were in an actual shop, as oppossed to a market, and i don't think they let you bargain in shops. well not this one. we tried the - "So, if i buy three dresses...how's that gonna work out?" It didn't. If it was any consolation though, the girl said that if anything ever broke, we could bring it back and they'd fix it for free. I wonder if they'd pay for the plane ticket as well? Cos in that case, totes bargain. Anyway, the point is, the dresses were nice but they weren't Ahh-mazing, and they were in the $45-$55 dollar range, each. And if you know me, you'll know that 98% of my clothing cost me less than $20, at most. i'm telling you i have a top that cost 50 cents. Its nice too. I wear it out. The other 2% was probably marked down from like $300, but i probably bought it for < $100. No joke. So, i didn't really want three $50 dresses. i didn't even want one. but for some reason, my mum really wanted to buy me a dress. i feel like she's trying to make up for something. but i don't think she is. This is Vietnam, the stuff is meant to be cheap! So my argument was, that i wouldn't even buy a dress for that much in Australia, and so why would i do that here? I think she said something about no one else having the same dress. But whatever. The other thing is...my wardrobe is insanely massive. Its probably double the size of a normal person's wardrobe... and i have alot trouble fitting my clothing in there (side note: we're moving, and i saw what was marked out to be wardrobe space, and holy crap, nothing is going to fit in there). So because of the excessive amounts of material goods i own, i probably shouldn't spend too much money on even more clothing. I think the fact that i really didn't want her to buy the dress made her want to buy it more. Reverse pyschology much?

---

After dinner we drove in circles (literally), looking for some place that didn't exist. Or we'd been given the wrong address, either way. We'd given up, gotten out, and walked, heading for ice cream instead. Stopped outside Louis Vuitton, looked for my sister's bag, acted like tourists. Across the street, as we were leaving, there was a huge crash, and i watched as part of the Carvalle Hotel exploded and fell to the floor. We walked away and sat watching from a cafe across the street, while hundreds ran towards it to see what the commotion was all about. I watched as the police & ambulance arrived, as hundreds ran down the stairs, fleeing the hotel. I still don't know what it was (it was only an hour or so ago), but in this post 9/11 world, you know what my first thought was.

i'd like to add that i had the "grivil" ice cream, which was passionfruit ice cream in guava juice? it was weird.

day o2

google's weird. facebook tells me everyone else is in the future. the vietnamese sim card changed my phone's language settings to vietnamese by itself, and i can't understand enough to change it back, so now i don't know how to save my phone number. plus they use big words. my mum couldn't do it either.

familly photo guys! that's everyone! well all of my mum's sisters, and they're on the phone to her brother. so that's everyone!

---

Marlene's Guide To Not Getting Ripped Off at the Market

I swear everything's more expensive than it used to be here. its supposed to be cheapcheapcheap! Like, more than double of what i remember things to cost, heaps worse than any of this inflation, CPI business. Also, the dollar is sucky, which doesn't help. So here's how not to lose at the markets, y'know, probably based on how i actually slipped up.

1. If you happen to be Vietnamese, try not to speak english. Try not to speak Vietnamese as well. they can tell! Just try not to speak at all. Which leads me to my next point.

2. If you know someone who lives in Vietnam and is actually Vietnamese, drag them along. Force them to do all the talking and bargaining. This saves you from the vendors hiking up the price at least twice. Its even worse if you're not asian. If they ask you where you're from, feign ignorance. My mum likes to pretend we're from Dalat, which is in the middleish of Vietnam, and slightly cooler - explaining our paleness. I fail at this, everyone thinks i'm Japanese/Chinese/Korean. Not saying excuse me, thank you, smiling too much or being too polite probably helps also.


3. Try not to whack your sister in the head too obviously when she starts speaking in english.

4. Try not to clutch onto your bags too obviously. But still, watch out for pick-pockets, esp if the market is squishy.

5. Never look too interested in what you actually want to buy. Defs do not squeal, OMG! I LOVE IT SO MUCH. It helps if you pick some sort of flaw with it. Or pretend to hate some aspect of it. For example, oh but look its scratched! even if you get me a new one it'll probs get scratched easily. its nice, except for that bit, if it didn't have that bit i'd like it.

6. Bargaining: Probs best if you start at roughly half of whatever it is they want for it. Things you could include:
- in response to the price: "No, tell me the truth now. Be serious, what's the price really?"
- if your friends like something from the same store, or you like more than one thing from that store: "How about if i buy lots/more than one thing?"
- if that fails "that other store offered me the same thing, for *insert price that is less than whatever they're offering, whether or not its true* and i even walked away from that."
- could also try: "it was cheaper over there" (usually they say that even though it LOOKS the same, theirs is superior quality etc. lies!) /"i bought from here last time, see i remember you, i'm such a good customer. discount please!"/"look i just stood here, and look at the luck i've brought you. look at all these other people who're at your store now! i'm good luck, you HAVE to give me a discount". seriously.

7. Don't believe anyone that tells you they have "fixed prices". Its never true. Everyone loves some bargaining. They account for it, they totally win big if you buy it for the marked price. Howevs, most things don't even have a marked price on purpose - that they can say whatever
they like.


8. Try not to get too attached to things you want. You need to walk away. Like actually, if they don't give you the price you want. 50% of the time they'll call you back and already have your stuff in a bag. If you really do like it, you can always come back and up the price a bit.

9. Try not to take obvious tourist photos like this in clear view of the vendors.

omg! its a really big pretend diamond! and a christmas tree! i don't know what its for! lets take a photo!

10. If you have specific wants, you're probably gonna fail. Like, my sister has photos of the fake-but-not-fake-looking bags she wants. Whereas i wanted nothing (except work shoes, which i didn't get), and got heaps.

---

Things consumed:
- pho, twice (that's my actual bowl, when i remembered halfway through)
- vietnamese iced coffee
- spring roll (yeah just one)
- rice, some green leafy vegetable
- papaya, custard apple and green star apple?
- croissant with cheeese
- chrysanthmum tea

we ate lunch at this chain called pho 24 which is kinda expensive - for vietnam, because my sister wanted air conditioning. the waiters are super attentive and it freaks me out. i want to eat on the street.

Places we acted like tourists:
- pho 24

- an dong market (or plaza like they like to call themselves) - old and new sections.

outside "an dong plaza". everyone seems to be REALLY into christmas atm, the last christmas i spent here, i don't remember it being so big. someone was playing christmas carols in our street, i'm scared.

Things i bought:

- 2 pairs of heels
- 2 shirts
- underwear - bras are kinda "expensive" now. i'm waiting to go to "ong ta" market to get some, where hopefully, i won't repeat the marlene-fainting-at-the-market- onto-a- pile-of-bras incident of '07.
- a fake LV wallet to replace the maybe fake, maybe not chanel one that was stolen


Mosquito bite count:
- three. i'm actually doing pretty well.


omg guys, i found peanut butter and chocolate oreos at the supermarket. i was VERY excited. i jumped around alot. i think my family were embarrassed. i thought they stopped making those! i can't find them in Australia anymore! they were a year 12 staple/constantly in my locker along with tea and migoreng! okay i think i have to go eat one now.

plane, day o1

So we're on the plane there now. It really gets to me, my sister's reasons for not wanting to go are SO different from mine. She thinks she's above this. Better than this, better than everyone and the way they live. It's too hot, I don't want to sleep there. Do we have to stay? That hotel's only 3 stars? I can't comprehend why it doesn't make her grateful for what she's got. That this is her family, and they (have to) live like this every day? It makes me appreciate how lucky i am, to have what i have. She however, thinks she deserves everything she has and only wants more. She keeps talking about how excited she is to go back home, because of all the presents she's gonna get (Guitar hero world tour, 4 new perfumes, some other stuff i cant' remember) and i just want to slap her.

this is darwin airport. Pauline says: can we go duty free shopping? i'm so excited, buy me stuff!

I don't think she feels connected to Vietnam at all, but it means alot to me. Even before I'd ever been there, it was where my parents grew up; the setting for their childhood stories. I don't know much about the country's actual history, but i know where my mum went to school, which beach they used to holiday at , how my grandfather once owned the entire laneway they live in in now. How the three story house on the corner of that laneway was the one they lived in. How my mum had the entire third floor to herself at some point. These are her memories, but they're almost mine too.

My mum was my age when she left all of that. Left everything, with literally the clothes on her back etc. There's a ring she still wears that survived attack by Thai pirates, deserted islands with no food, etc. So i was talking to my mum about this the other day, and i was all like "I can't believe you were my age, I don't know anything about anything! I haven't lived! You had to grow up and stuff" and she was like "Well until then, I hadn't known anything either. My parents took care of everything." and then i wanted to cry. Because what i was trying to get at was, please stop being so overprotective and let me do stuff.

---

Day 1.

Things consumed:
- more petrol than necessary - Pauline didn't wanna walk. She prefers air conditioned taxis.
- hu tieu nam vang
- chao tom
- some other noodle-y soupy thing that we don't seem to have in australia
- coconut juice
- nem nuong

mind you, its only what? 4pm here? i need to start taking more photos, but my camera was running out of batteries.

say hello to the powerlines. everything here seems really unsafe, but everyone seems to get by just fine.

Places we acted like tourists:
- Saigon market where i bought pretty scarves and my sister searched for good fake bags, which i don't think actually exist here.
- Actual tourist places, where we attempted to book flights/tours to Hong Kong, still don't know how that's going. Probably not at all. Alot of these seem to be take a number wait your turn type things, that don't actually work. One place, accused us of not listening carefully enough when they skipped our number. In reality someone apparently pressed the wrong button or something. Rude. It was kinda hilarious though, because it took 20 minutes of sitting there to realise that after the vietnamese number, they actually read the numbers out in english. I'd totally win at their job.
- Chloe, Marc Jacobs and Gucci. Why? ask my sister.

the gucci store is insane. these places make my heart hurt.

Mosquito bite count: zero. surprising. spoke too soon, lets make that 1

Also, had a surprise visit from my aunt, who's a nun and lives an hour or 2 away. First time in ages all the girls in my mum's family had been together. My mum keeps saying, all the birds are flying back to the nest. We're just missing my uncle, who's in Vietnam atm, but visiting his in-laws.

So i'm gonna try to post about it, but probably actually wont. no expectations yeah?

money honey.

i haven't posted in ages because i've been working on this other post for approximately forever. except, i'm having trouble spitting it out. i don't really know why. so i'm giving up and moving on. maybe some day.

so i'm leaving tomorrow. i don't really really don't want to go. everytime i say that, which is often, i feel like a spoilt brat. like i should be grateful because hello, overseas trip! and saying that i've already been to Vietnam four times, therefore it is boring doesn't help the spoilt brat case.

but what no one gets is that, Vietnam? its not a holiday. There's family, a lot of it. That's the whole point. Because we're all the way over here, mostly by ourselves, nearly everytime we i go overseas, its to Vietnam, cos if there's that money to spend on 'holidays' then we better see our family. Which is fair enough. I've been overseas 4 times, Vietnam each time. Once we stayed with friends in Malaysia for a few days on the way to Vietnam, besides that i've spent a few hours in the Thai airport, and a bit longer than that in Singapore. But that's it.

this was the work christmas party, ps.

And half of the family pull you in all sorts of directions, hug you and wanna be your BFFL, but really, they just want you to you ask your parents for more money for them, because their kids are sick they want a facial. Or like, maybe you could give them your phone number in Australia, so they can call and ask you to send more money. Obvs, this is behind our grandparents bbacks, because they could easily get the number from them? And it really really gets to me. I don't know if they realise how hard my parents work over here. If anything, they are totally burnt out and deserve a real holiday. My dad was meant to come with us, but he's gonna be another 2 weeks because of work. And I thought we were past this.

So i want to go to Vietnam, but more like an embarrassing tourist. Because I've barely seen this country, and i hear its kinda pretty.

Also, 7 weeks is a really long time.

if you sing a song, sing a song for them

So my wallet was stolen a week and a half ago from the library. Obvs i've lost my faith in people etc. Also it was taken right out of my bag, which was on the floor next to me. Nice one karma, what did i ever do to you?


Here's what was in there, and why it wasn't worth the effort:
- $20 exactly. Two $10 notes. No coins. But you'd only find $10 if you didn't look hard enough. The other $10 was folded up, wrapped with paper, in an inner inner compartment, didn't really belong completely to me, and was supposed to be cake money the next time the CM's went out for dinner. Sorry kids, no cake for us.

- Weekly train ticket. This is pretty good actually. I only bought it that morning, and it was a concession ticket. But hey, i've been getting away with buying concession tickets and not being busted by the ticket inspectors since my wallet's been stolen. If I can do it, you can too! Actually i think there was a 5x weekend saver in there too. Think i only used that once as well.

- Broken pendant. Bought it in vietnam. Heartish shaped silver with a pearl. It was pretty, but broken, obvs. and only worth like $2. So sorry, you still lose.

- Alot of cards. Sorry did you want to steal my identity? you can be me? wanna sit my exams? you've gotta at least PASS them obviously, and you know. BONUS sleep deprivation and callouses from writing. I'll through them in, no extra cost! You can have some no-doz too. I won't need it if i don't have to sit the exams. Okay so my student ID wasn't in there. and you may need that to sit the actual exam, but you know. i'll lend it too you. just give it back, cos that flimsy piece of plastic costs $60 to replace. Cos they'll want at least some form of ID from me, if i'm forced to sit my exam, and oh, you've got my licence already. Other cards include: atm, medicare, health care, library, working with children and various random abandoned memberships. Sweet as.

- ticket stubs

- general clutter. including but not limited to: beads, business cards, defunct loyalty cards, reciepts, bobby pins and rubber bands.

So there's other stuff too. But I don't think I'm ready to talk. Let's just say I'm a scared. And a bit of a mess. But in better news, I only have one exam left.

in my head i replay our conversations, over and over until they feel like halucinations

So likeeee, this whole placement thing. Its a learning experience y'know? They stick you somewhere (in my case the middle of nowhere! actually not really, it was pretty big, they had TWO coles'), in a position much like a 'job', foreign concept, no? And then; they don't pay you! At all! Not even in cookies! because you're learning! and knowledge is wealth! knowledge is better than wealth, and you'll be so full of it you'll almost burst/spontaneously combust! just wait till you try to buy a coffee with knowledge. and omg you better be fucking grateful! we give you (the lucky winner!) the opportunity to see what its like to work 43 hour weeks for no money! I have this theory, they're just setting us up, so that when we get jobs that actually pay, even if they're shit we'll all be like at least we get paid, unlike placement. So this, this is what i learnt. i'm gonna print it out, paint it green and try to buy a coffee and some lunch with it tomorrow.

Things I Learnt From Placement That I Sort of Already Knew.

I'm boring. And stuff.
My parents are pretty strict. I'm not allowed to sleep over. I can't stay out late. I can't catch public transport/taxi home by myself, esp when dark. I'm probs not supposed to date (unless he's like a doctor/lawyer/perfect boring kid), drink or any of that other stuff either. And so its totally expected that i go crazy without the parental supervision right? Nah uh, i think i'll just bake instead thanks. Make pastry from scratch? Sure! Heard of a supermarket, where you can buy these things pre-made? Clearly not. Annddd then i'll, pretend to study for 25 seconds just do some knitting/cross-stitch in front of the tv instead. I wish i was joking. This is really ruining my street cred.


WiniFred >>> LOTS


I am a caffeine addict.
There, I said it. I used to be all, totes not. I just like coffee. And I'd be all, adamant that I only drink coffee if its good, completely pointless otherwise right?! Plus coffee = marlene+horoscope time . I justify the statement that i'm not totally (only partially?) addicted by saying I only drink coffee on the weekdays. I don't on the weekends/holidays (ie. when i don't leave the house). What I didn't realise is that, at these times i DO NOT make use of my brain, and usually am not really required to function (library on the weekend = coffee; playing receptionist = no coffee). Whilst in countrytown, i discovered that holy shit, the coffee is horrible. Can someone say burnt dirty coffee water? Not only that, it was more expensive than in melbourne, go figure. And i kept trying, but it just wasn't working with me. It was crap everywhere i went. So then I drank instant. Only when i strugggling, still i'm not proud to admit it.


The world won't end if i don't read my horoscope.
Firstly, today's horoscope = hilarious, observe, "...You are trying to do something difficult. To achieve this requires ingenuity and intuition. You've got that. Now you just need to add the basic ingredients of sustained sanity. These comprise, as I am sure you know, of a healthy diet, good water to drink, space alone in which to think, and a decent night's sleep. Get those and the rest will prove no problem. " Ahhh, Johnathan Cainer, I'll always hate you.
So this one's pretty self explainatory, but i saved a few minutes every day (so I couldn't knit?).
On the otherhand, I was pretty bored, and felt a tiny bit empty on the inside.


I survived!
Obvs. And then i baked everyone cookies as thank yous. They were crazy/insane/really pretty. I should've taken photos.


Can't say i don't win at procrastination though. happy halloween?

If I lose myself try to stop me (stop me).

i met sarah blasko a few months ago. right before i left for placement. it was at a friend of a friend's (sister's ex-boyfriend's, cousin's brother's best friend's, no not really) fashion show. We did the whole small talk thing, nothing out of the ordinary. But it stuck with me, and I've been thinking about it since.

She asked what I did, was I part of the whole fashion/design thing?
Ha...no, far from it. I'm studying pharmacy.
Wow, that's different. Do you love it?!
And I didn't really know what to say. Its not like it just hit me, but it was the way she said it. It seemed like, for her, there was no other option other than loving what you did.

Wholeheartedly.

And I'm indifferent.

Its okay, I tell the people who don't actually care, I guess I don't hate it/I study pharmacy, because secretly i'm 5 years old and like colourful stickers, why else? I tell my friends.

Completely, indifferent. I don't love it. I don't know how to love it. If its even possible to love. If anyone out there loves it at all?

I've never met a pharmacist who loves their job. Like really loves it. I know plenty who are happy, crazy hardworking, dedicated. But never love. On the otherhand, I've never met one who completely hates what they're doing, whereas some of my friends have had pharmacists tell them to get out while they still can. (side note: why does firefox think 'out' is spelt wrong?)

Pharmacy is a fall back. Its what you do when you don't make the cut for med/dent/law. But is secure enough, that you don't try too hard to transfer yourself out. Plus its too hard, better off doing something easier where you'll get better marks. Its a stable enough job, will pay the bills. It'll make my parents happy. And my grandfather's crazy proud. But I've got no idea what I want, at all, y'know to do with the rest of my life and stuff. I know this isn't permanent, I'm not stuck here, but its a waste if i don't make something of this. Make someone proud, save some lives, cure cancer and all that. Its like this is a time filler, but its becoming more and more permanent.

I wanted to do medicine. Back in highschool when we thought were preparing for the rest of our lives and 'the real world'. Back when we thought we were making the big decisions that we couldn't ever change. Back when our ENTER was going to define us. Those four digits with the decimal point. But I have no idea where that desire came from. As far as super vague memories go, if i'm no making this up, i remember turning to my mum; i was probably 4? after someone asked me what i wanted to do when i grow up and asking "mum, what do i want to do?"and she said "you want to be a doctor" and so it was, from then on, mostly i said i didn't know. but towards the end of high school when i had nothing else, i'd say i wanted to study medicine. Cos at some point, you've gotta pick ksomething right? At least i could say i'd wanted to since i was little.

I don't hate this enough to leave, unless there's something better. I know this for sure.
But if i don't find anything else, can i love it enough to stay?

I was going to ramble more, but I'm so braindead right now. So vague. I literally cannot speak properly. Maybe I just need to go to bed. Sleep deprivation gives you the crazies. True story.

its just amusing watching you dance

I really don't know what else to tell you. What is it you wanna hear?

This is everything, y'know?
I've been having a lot of thoughts, but most of themn are along the lines of 'dontfaildontfaildontfaildontfail' followed by 'ihateunihatehatehateunihateargh'.

Its Sunday, and i'm at the library. I've never done this before. Saturday was the limit, and that was a recent thing too. Before all this I'd avoid the library at all costs. I'm pretty sure i've never even borrowed a library book for myself at the uni library.


It was all about just doing well enough to pass. And in this freaking course, that's hard enough as it is. Even my crazy parents say you just have to pass. that's all. Granted, they're probably trying to make me feel better when i think i've just failed.

And, I know this is awful, but I don't feel like there's any reason to do really well. Its kind of completely pointless. Nothing I'm learning here can really be applied out there in the real world. Can draw the structure of morphine? Biosynthesis of cholesterol/steroids? pH-rate profiles? Sound like gibberish to you? Yeah i thought so. And that's the whole thing. They teach us about communication, body language, lean forward eye contact, hand on top when shaking hands is the dominant position, but what does it all mean? We're supposed to be able to communicate with our clients, but its not as if i can spew any of this state of ionisation stuff to even the most educated patients. They don't care, and more importantly it doesn't even matter.

Yet, despite all that, i strangely want to actually do well. More than just passing and getting through. Its never been like this. I refuse to stay up late to study, refuse to pull all nighters, refuse to change too much to accomodate the craziness.

All of that's still there, except here I am at the library, on a Sunday. People are glaring at me for no reason, and the electric bin opened automatically as i walked past (wonder what it was trying to tell me) and i'm starting to even though it doesn't matter.

So i'm gonna take my books, head down for some coffee, and hope another rubber penis doesn't fall from the sky like it did on the way here. Then i'm gonna go to the beach.

Cause they wanted to hear that sound that you didn't want to play

i'm back i'm back! and my lovely placement bubble has popped. stuff (i. e. exams) are happening sooooon, and i don't know how?! oh time and space, how you confuse me.

Placement wasn't too bad, i mean the actual placement wasn't that fun, it was basically just slave labor, but you win some you lose some. I just chose to bake, alot. we were well fed.


As of yesterday i freaked, re: exams and went to the city/library on a Saturday, producing much shock and confusion (mostly from staff at jungle juice). Then i slept really early to avoid this pharmacology assignment that i'm currently avoiding by typing this.

In other news i am probably most likely getting a new laptop. I think its the msi wind, but i know nothing about computers. i just refer to it as a baby laptop yay! because this one is currently breaking. my. back. and therefore ruining my life slightly.


So last night i had a vividish dream about having a baby. I don't remember much of it anymore. Slightly concerning. Apparently babies in dreams mean new beginnings or something like that. I. don't. know.

update: i feel like the whole baby thing refers to my like of all things baby sized. For example, baby sized laptop, baby sized pony tail etc.

i didn't know why you asked me, you're gonna do it anyway

i'm stuck at home cos i couldn't get myself out of bed. i say this like the other option was gonna be so exciting, but really i was gonna go to the library. i just like to leave the house. though i guess i don't mind so much when i've got the house to myself.

god i hope i'm not coming down with something.

there's 2 weeks till placement, and we've just found out where we're going. looks like i'm gonna have to bus from where we're staying to my work, which kinda sucks. i was looking forward to like, working around the corner or something, especially after what is it, 7 years of public transport hell, now. i mean its not gonna be anything like the hour and a half it takes me each way to get to uni or whatever, but i want to be one of those kids who get to roll out of bed 10 minutes before work starts or something. Fine, more like half an hour, because who am i kidding, i can't eat and get ready in 10 minutes.

the town seems nice enough and we can go whale watching! i still don't know how to cook. hopefully the weather is nice to us. which leads me to, i have nothing to wear.

the ball was on friday, and so i leave you with pictures.

its been a long while between blogs hey? things are pretty repetitive i suppose.

i go for coffee, try to relax, pretend to study but usually get distracted stealing chocolate from the kitchen, go to uni for way too long, whine about being hungry, wonder why there's never any free food anymore, maybe get more coffee on the way home.

uni's been really full on. lots and lots of lectures one after another, no time to process, and for once i've actually been going to class. which is...different. i don't know if its helping though. It feels like there's been a bajillion assignments, there hasn't but its a lot more than we're used to. One of them's a group assignment, and i've pulled near all nighters (i've never EVER pulled an all nighter to study. ever. ) but i feel obliged to stay up because its not MY mark. and i feel bad if i dont, even though i know i'm not all that productive. argh. ps. hi sylvie.

i went shoe shopping and i can't afford anything i want. and instead of doing anything i'm supposed to be doing, i've been baking. also burning my fingers because i can't seem to grasp the concept that things in the oven are HOT. and i shouldn't touch them. i made these yesterday, and i just made some cookies.

Placement is in just a few weeks, 3 weeks away from home, which i'm kinda okay with. In a small town, which i'm less okay with. And living with 1 other person from uni. We were originally gonna be a group of 4, which i guess would've been more fun, and well... i'm not sure i'd be able to stand, just me, for 3 weeks. but we got split up into twos.

i plan on eating only dessert.

okay, i'm off to spend money i don't have, hooray!

what are you going to do when the party ends?

i'm really not into packing.
short or long trip, i'd really rather go on the buy things when i get there principle.
obviously packing is what i'm currently procrastinating. we're going to queenscliff for a couple of days.

in the meantime i've gone back to playing receptionist, having people hang up on me and refusing to tell me who they are. its fun. additionally, today i did some data entry and then put a years worth of reciepts in chronological order for tax time. fun fun fun.

the birds living in my roof/wall sound like they're trying to break their way into my room. i'm sure its entirely possible for them to peck through the plaster right?

so back to the packing, i never know what to take. or i do, but its winter and like... warm clothing takes up too much space. and i don't think my just wear tights and a long sleeved shirt under the dress and pretend like its a whole new winter wardrobe thing works because wet tights sound uncomfortable.

and i reaaaaaallly want a brownie, or some flourless chocolate cake, and ice cream. and, um, dumplings. pretty please.
okay time to suck it up and start packing.

ps. no coffee since monday.

and i don't think that i can face another burnt out sunday

one more.

she said, is anybody out there?

sooooo... like, one down, five to go.
exams that is. it doesn't really have a very awesome ring to it. i really don't like to think about it. its taking over my entire life. hello, i went to the library today, and its SATURDAY. on saturday we rest. or work to earn money. we do NOT study, though apparently i do now. the world is spinning funny and mercury is hurting me. mercury is in retrograde, and i'm telling everyone, because obviously its ruining my life. except i think people are mostly just laughing behind my back, like not only does she read horoscopes, she talks about mercury and the angle between the stars and the sun. actually most people just think i'm talking about the metal. and like i don't know, biting on old fashion thermometers and ingesting some pretty silver liquid? they probably think that's why i'm insane. wow. tangennttt.

so... like i've become super boring obviously. i mean i normally am not particularly sociable voluntarily and do not go out a lot but you know its more depresssing. so how was your day? oh you know, awesome! i went to the library, yeahhh. on my birthday. so super exciting. you missed out on the party aw, are you getting up to anything tonight? yeah, gonna go home and studyyy. oh yeahh. what's on this weekend? mmm. let me think about that one. i'm gonna... study. though i suppose at least i'm leaving the house. i think i would go more batshit crazy than i already am if i just didnt' leave the house all these weeks. even if i'm just leaving to go to the library. and the only people i see / talk to in the flesh are the people who make my coffee. oh yeah! really?!

howevs, the library is NOT all fun and games, as awesome as i make it sound. for one, i went to not my usual library today, and spent a good 20 minutes walking around trying to find somehwere to sit down, making my life 349038234 times easier, you're not allowed to have bags in there. and well i have a lot of stuff. just a lot of stuff. books and various cases holding pens and other various junk, clothing, food hidden in folders (obvs can't have food in there either). and it gets tiring. i actually worked up a sweat and had to remove several layers of clothing. in the end no space was found and we bailed for another library. and the moral to that story is, trust your instincts, the library you believe is evil, really is.

the library that you love most of the time, except for the fact that one of the rooms is freezing and you have to go into that room when the room you really like is closed, which is sometimes often. and hello run on sentences. hoorah! lets have a party (at the library). oh right, where was i going with that? yeah, that library? sometimes it sucks too. likeeeee when old men hit on you. and you're by yourself (okay yeah, that's 95% of the time), and hungry and tired and you haven't had any coffee.

so here's the fun story. thisssss is mostly modified from something i sent sylvie. because 1) she is super special and gets the news first. also everyone else probs already knows, because i whine alot. and 2) i am lazy. laaazzeeeh. that's all.

so i'd been 'studying' for a solid HOUR (probably less. felt like longer) when i decided that omg, a whole hour is a really REALLY long time, and i should go buy that chocolate. also, it was COLD! in the reatarded room, so you know, chocolate (chilli!) was even more important, because like, it would make me warmer? YES. i did tell myself that. i am quite into being in denial. so i left all my shit, and went to coles to buy chocolate, came back and was like EMAIL CHECKING TIME. anyway, so i got myself a computer, and logged on, you know, email, facebook and muso so i can pretend that i'm studying. THEN THIS CRAZY MAN COMES OVER, NEAR ME i can only assume that he was looking at the books on the shelves behind me, and was like "you type really fast".

this isn't really that strange, since i kinda do. and other people have commented on the fact, BUT HE'S A STRANGER. and i'm already freaked out. because i like to hope that my vibe is something a little like fuck off and leave me alone. you know, what with the whole people hating thing. exceptfor i'm pretty sure that doesn't work because i look like i'm about 12, and they're not allowed to say fuck off.

but THEN he stays and WATCHES ME? LIKE WTF. WHAT THE FUCK. so i had to just look at muso, as opposed to my email and facebook. and so likeeeeeee. he rambled on something about having a day off? and having an appointment? though what time i have no idea. cos i was mostly smiling and nodding and what the freaking the fuck out. and he said some crap about liking to come to the library to get a book (yes, that's what people do at libraries apparently) and something and i was like, yes. its um. a nice place. to relax? except so not, because obviously i go there to study, and that makes me cry. and then he is all what are you studying? and i'm like, uh pharmacy and he said. and i cannot believe he said this, and i didn't realise how DIRTY it was until afterwards when i cried a little on the inside and then wanted to throw up.

he said, YOU'LL HAVE TO GIVE ME A CHECK UP THEN. and i was like (EEEEK. OMG WTF) um, uh... i don't know about that ha. ha. ha. (FUUUUUUUUUUCK.) and so eventually he goes away, and i feel awkward and violated. BTW HE IS FUCKING OLD. LIKE FORTIES? late forties? I AM BAD AT JUDGING AGE. but whatever, old! not ancient, but old!

AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN HE COMES BACK AND LIKE TAPS ME ON THE SHOULDER AND IS LIKE "if you need a break from studying maybe we could get coffee" OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES. i am unsure about the end bit, because I WAS FREAKING OUT. but the start is right. and there was something about coffeeeee. AND I WAS V. V. SCARED. and so i said something like. ohh, no sorry, i'm just getting started, so i better get into it. OR SOMETHING. I DON'T KNOW I WAS SO FREAKED OUT. SO VERY FREAKED OUT.

and it was like quite early in the day, so you know, basically ruined my life. i was really honestly quite terrified, and nearly fled to jungle. but like, all my stuff was in the retarded room, and i keep hearing horror stories about how theives are targetting students blah blah, with incident of thefts increasing around libraries etc. so i am too scared to leave my stuff for TOO long. since i'd already left it long enough to buy chocolate and have my life/day ruined. AND I WENT BACK AND HE WAS SITTING IN THE FREAKING ROOM ALSO. luckily i hope he felt awkward and so left quite soon after.

so. wrongtown.

in conclusion, libraries/uni sucks. whooohooooo.

hock it?

i tried to write this morning, but it seems blogger was being a bit tempremental. or perhaps it was trying to tell me that i should study. either way, the point is. i don't remember what i wanted to writre about. probably nothing... important.

it seems i post often at the library, it may have something to do with the fact that i don't like to study. i wrote my 'reflective exercise' at a rate of approximately 2349 words on facebook: 1 word in microsoft word. it was pretty much amazing. i'm sure you wish you'd seen it. my hands are col dagain and i'm not even in the super freezing room. i moved out of there when i started SHIVERING.

my money saving is failing quite miserably. and exams are freaking me out. i also kinda really want soup. i am waiting for my lover to call, so then we can do my favorite thing. i mean, eat obvs.

we went out for super birthday lunch with the fam on sunday, (mum's mine and sisters' our birthday are like all within 10 days of eachother. starting with mum last sat, and ending with mine in a week. except my mum pretends like hers doesn't exist in front of everyone else, and no one else seems to realise mine exists. so my sister wins. we had yumcha. it was fatty, therefore awesome.

i can't do this anymore, its making me feel guilty, which is a good thing i suppose.

You won't get better till you're worse

Reasons May isn't delivering on its 'promise' to be my favoritest month ever.
o1. stupidly tedious assignment due at 5pm.
I've discovered that even if i start doing things early, i will STILL be doing it at the last minute, pretty much no matter what. Should probably leave it to the last minute anyway, and stop wasting all the time i spend half doing it. Where i could be doing other probably more fun things. Such as mindless tv, msn/facebook/gmail(talk)/clean/stare at the wall/read about anything other than GOUT. gout is a disgusting word.

o2. public transport has HATED me the past month or so.
heaps of trains running, but taking TWICE as long, because they like to stop in the middle of nowhere for prolonged periods of time. wednesday morning (wednesday = day from hell, and when i started writing this) a rather 'unsavoury' (oh hey, i've never really thought about that term, not savory. does that = sweet? well that's not what i mean. anyway...) character fainted on the train. now i'm gonna sound like an awful person, i was concerned for their wellbeing howevs, IT WAS COLD, i did not wanna get off the train, to squish onto another one. blah blah, was in a hurry, had to work on aforementioned assignment of evil. wanted to die.
then last night, it failed me YET AGAIN. I was at loverly eleanor's house warming, which we had to leave early (me becaues my parents thougth i was still at uni, and well they're not that dumb, i can't push it too much. in my defense, en lives like a block away from uni, so hey i wasclose enough.) so we left around 10 past 8 or so, WAITED about half an hour for a tram, so i missed the 8:30 train home. finally got to the station, was gonna catch the 8:57 (i was supposed to be home by 9 btw) and that was delayed, so it was important that we bought some food! food being ice cream in my case. went down to the train, was harrasssed by an awful bitter old woman, who actually called gem a bitch. only to find my 'delayed' train wasn't really as delayed as they said it would be and as a result had left without me. next train was 9:27. it took me nearly an hour and a half to get an a train after leaving en's. and it really shoudl take 20 minutes max.
i was tired and annoyed. dad cracked the shits. the end.

03. and then, a bird shat on me.
don't try to tell me it's good luck. i won't believe you. i know, that's just what all the people who get shat on try to say to make themselves feel better. i'm not into that sort of denial.
So was walking along to the library (from the cafe where i was working on my assignment) to check online if my 10am class was going to be recorded (which meant i could skip it) because i didn't think i was gonna finish the assignment on time if i went. it wasn't recorded, but i didn't go anyway, mostly because I HAD BIRD SHIT DOWN MY TOP. now 'luckily' it wasn't on my dress, just on the hoodie i was wearing, because oh, that was my WORK DRESS. and i had work later on. i woulda been super hot. So i went back to the cafe, looked really sad alot, and washed my jumper in the sink. then my hands with antibacterial soap. kills 99.9% of germs they say.

o4. did i mention the assignment sucked?
it was fairly pointless. 2 sections.
- first involved giving advice to my hypothetical customer. he wanted to stop taking his prescription meds and take a more 'natural' alternative. i had to form a 'search strategy' it was like an assignment on google, seriously. but using data bases. 'i put in these words and got 439402834 billion results. this was too broad, so i added another search term, to refine my search i then got only 392 results. of these 3 were relevant' then i had to tell my patient what i found out in 500 words or less. which was super shit to write, because in real life, even though i talk alot, I DON'T TALK CONTINUOUSLY WITHOUT PAUSE for that long. poor pretend customer.
- the second part invovled 'critically appraising' a journal article about a study. mine was about the super awesome fun subject of gouty gout gout (and goutlike arthritis etc.). this wasn't that bad. just that my study didn't make much sense, because the people who carried it out are, well. idiots. but that was okay, i dealt with it. However, to add to my constant pain (literal as well) yesterday i had a 3 hour prac session on my favourite topic of gout. where my lecturer just liked to torture us. we were done (2 hours in) and he said, 'do you want to go home, or watch this video(ON GOUT)?' you can guess the answer. he then said 'shut up. this video is kinda shit, and you wont' get much out of it but watch it anway' and proceeded to make me want to KILL MYSELF. now you see, with our assignments, there were like 20 different studies and patient scenarios you could get. i was just oh so lucky to get gout. AND EVERYONE ELSE THERE, even though they hadn't spent the last week spewing gout (ew!) wanted to die also. imagine how awesome i felt. the last bit of the assignment involves posting 'meaningful' contributions on a discussion board. i am not very good at 'meaningful'.

05. after an appropriately long time spent at the cafe, i went to the library.
i didnt' go to any classes wednesday.
i couldn't remember really how to reference! because the last assignment i had was literally 2 and a half years ago. why do this to me pharmacy? i hate you! i went to the library because it has the amazing INTERNET. which is what i'm using now actually. and i had been avoiding the internet due to its 'distracting' properties. howevs i actually needed it then, to you know 'refine' my search and what not. after about an hour the internet CEASED TO FUNCTION but possibly jsut for me and for no real reason. i was really. pretty much, on the verge of tears. the whole day was already lots of nervous, stressed fun. i wandered around, trying out different locations, and turnign things off and back on, but to no avail. see, it was connecting, but just wouldn't let me do anything. and i don't know WHY it happeend because it previosuly was working jsut fine. until it just stopped. to spite me i bet. i freaked out alot, also because the assignment had to be submitted ONLINE. and like, yes. also, lots of things broke. at jungle juice also. i suspect it was my presence.

06. i was driven to insanity
while at the library, i needed to go to the bathroom (as you do when you drink coffee + lots of water, and if you're like me, then probs every 5 or so minutes) but anyway. it made me terribly sad how crazy i was becoming. obvs couldn't carry my laptop with me, so i left it. and saved everythign onto my usb, which i took with me, JUST IN CASE someone decided to steal my laptop, i would at least still have my assignments. yup. those were my priorities.

07. and then my phone turned off.
because it ran out of batteries. because my dad cracked the shits at me the night before, becaues he went into my room in search of the phone charger (it was in the bathroom) and realised what a mess it was/he couldn't find it etc. and so i was too scared to tell him i actually sorta needed it. but i still had 1 bar left, that should've totally lasted theday. so not. more like 2 hours.

08. in addition my horoscope said "do not think about chocolate" as the first words.
I read that far, and then was like, fuck, i'm screwed. i can't remember what the rest of it was about. but that was obvs the most important part, even though the start an dend of Jonathan's predictions are never in anyway related. Ali's reaction was "but you're the most chocolate obsessed person i know". And so i pulled the 2 blocks of chocolate out of my bag and started eating. I think Jonathan knows a gemini he hates. and so he's taking it out on me. i haven't had a good prediction in months. Though, my horoscope book keeps telling me how awesome May is, and it hasn't delivered. you can't win. After i submitted my assignment, in the little time i had not doing much before work, i went and had the most massive hot chocolate ever. becfause i was hyped from stress, and coffee might make me hear ringing in mjy ears (which is what i learnt today! and i haven't even been to class yet). yeah that's right. Fuck you Jonathan Cainer.

09. as soon as i submitted my assignment, i thought of more stuff to add
howevs i submitted at 2:30, TWO AND A HALF HOURS before the deadline. but only about an hour before my personal deadline. because i had to go to work and stuff.

10. And then i had to work.
until 9 pm. did i mention i only got 3 hours of broken sleep? i tried to stay up to finish the assignment, but was stupidly , ridiclusouly tired (normally if i sleep before 1am, i think i'm getting sick) but around 1 i wanted to DIE and couldn't keep my eyes open/focus at all. so i had a bit of a nap. and woke up again at 2 to keep working on it. i was STARVING and had the 'best' ever vita wheats. i think it was just the extreme hunger talking. stayed up till after 4, went to bed for a bit. and was up at 6 to get ready for the day of hell.
but i had ice cream at work, and that negates most of the negatives.